A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial–a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, ”Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, ”Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment … Read more
Judge to witness: ”And where was the location of the accident?” Witness: ”Approximately milepost 499.” Judge:: ”And where is milepost 499?” Witness: ”About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500.”
What do you get when you cross a Jehova’s witness with a business man?A door to door salesman!
The Judge admonished the witness, ”Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” ”I do.” ”Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?” ”Sure,” said the witness. ”My side will win.”
A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, ”Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, ”Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, … Read more
Attorney to witness: ”What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?” Witness: ”Where am I Cathy?” Attorney: ”And why did that upset you?” Witness: ”Because my name is Susan.”
‘I caught a twenty pound salmon last week.” ”Were there any witnesses?” ”There sure were. If there hadn’t been, it would have been forty pounds.”
Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah’s witness?– He refused becuase he hadn’t seen the accident.