When somebody yells:Last one in is a rotten egg
When somebody yells
Chuck Norris
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
That’s not Chuck Norris doing push-ups
That’s not Chuck Norris doing push-ups — that’s Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
Who belives the hype
Chuck Norris belives the hype.
Chuck Norris has held the World Championship
Chuck Norris has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.
See spot. See spot run
See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes
Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris stole Randal Munroe’s ability to draw
Chuck Norris stole Randal Munroe’s ability to draw. That’s why most of xkcd is stick figures.
Chuck Norris does not breathe to live
Chuck Norris does not breathe to live, he just likes the taste of oxygen.
Before sliced bread, people used to say
Before sliced bread, people used to say
Chuck Norris invented a language
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Who CAN stop the beat
Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris
If you want a list of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Who built Rome
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Four legal methods of execution in the United States
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
What Chuck Norris can store?
Chuck Norris can store CO2.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building
You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.
When Chuck Norris rides on a train
When Chuck Norris rides on a train, he can tell the driver where to go and let him off.
What there was before the Big Bang?
What there was before the Big Bang? R: Chuck Norris
What is Chuck
Chuck
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
The truth will set you free
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
According to Einstein’s theory of relativity
According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris and Myspace
Chuck Norris is currently suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie
Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It’s also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Who can dribble a football
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris’ beard converts CO2
Chuck Norris’ beard converts CO2 to O2.
Chuck Norris can split the atom
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
How much boner would a bonerchuck
How much boner would a bonerchuck chuck if a bonerchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
The rising cost of gasoline
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Industrial logging isn’t the cause of deforestation
Industrial logging isn’t the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
The phrase ‘balls to the wall’
The phrase ‘balls to the wall’ was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
What Chuck Norris says when he sneeze?
When Chuck Norris sneeze, he don
The movie Delta Force was extremely hard to make
The movie ”Delta Force” was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
When Bruce Banner gets mad
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris’s apartment
Chuck Norris’s apartment pays him a thousand dollars on the first of every month. It’s never been late.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It’s called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris cannot love
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and boner-grain alcohol.
Chuck Norris can bend light
Chuck Norris can bend light. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris on Valentine
On Valentine
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris puts the FUN
Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.