How do you know that your dentist studied algebra?
Question: How do you know that your dentist studied algebra? Answer: She said all that candy gave me exponential decay.
Dentist Jokes
What did the judge say to the dentist?
Question: What did the judge say to the dentist? Answer: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Why did the tree go to the dentist?
Question: Why did the tree go to the dentist? Answer: To get a root canal.
What is a drill team?
What is a drill team?A group of dentists who work together.
A man went to his dentist
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, ”that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, ”all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife … Read more
What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?
What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?…Fill me in when you get back
believe that the members of the dental profession are
believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it.
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100. Patient: Well, without pain it’s cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain. Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!! Hey, WITH pain it costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist.
Young Charlie to dentist’s sexy chariside assistant
Young Charlie to dentist’s sexy chariside assistant ”Aha ! Are you the lady orthodontist ?”. The lady replied ”No, but I’ll straighten anyone’s teeth ”
Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window?
Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window?Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
Patient:Do you extract teeth painlessly?
Patient:Do you extract teeth painlessly?Dentis: ”Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist
Dentist: Just let me finish
Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc, but don’t forget to send your bill to the other man.
What did the blonde’s dentist find?
Q: What did the blonde’s dentist find? A: Teeth in the cavity.
What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
What game did the dentist play when she was a child?…Caps and robbers
What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?…He braces himself
Where does the dentist get his gas?
Where does the dentist get his gas?…At the filling station
I came in to make an appointment
‘I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist. ”I’m sorry sir.” she replied. ”He’s out right now, but…” ”Thank you,” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. ”When will he be out again ?”
What did the tooth say to the dentist?
What did the tooth say to the dentist?”Fill ‘er up!”
I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you
‘I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy’s tooth.” ”Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!” ”Yes,” replied the dentist, ”but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the … Read more
What do you call a dentist in the army?
What do you call a dentist in the army ?A drill sergeant !
Gerald: Have you ever come across a man who
Gerald: ”Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?” Mabel: ”Yes, the dentist.”
Open wider
‘Open wider.” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. ”Good God !” he said startled. ”You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.” ”OK Doc !” replied the patient. ”I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.” ”I didn’t !” said the … Read more
Dentist: Don’t worry. I’m painless. Patient: I’m not.
Dentist: Don’t worry. I’m painless. Patient: I’m not.
A patient came to his dentist with problems
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn’t the right one
Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn’t the one I wanted pulled. Dentist: Relax, I’m coming to it.
Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me?
Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me?Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?Patient: Why?Doc, it isn’t all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the 4 o’clock ball game.
Why do you forget a tooth, as soon as the dentist pulls it out?
Why do you forget a tooth, as soon as the dentist pulls it out?Because it goes right out of your head.
A lady walks into the dentist’s office
A lady walks into the dentist’s office, takes off her underwear, sits down on the chair and spreads her legs wide open. ”You must have made a mistake” says the shocked dentist, ”The gynecologist’s office is one level higher.” To that the lady replies, ”No mistake, you installed my husband’s dentures last week, now you’ll … Read more
Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist
Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, ”Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my privates.” The woman replies, ”Yes. Now, we’re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren’t we.”
Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out?
Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out?…He was already taking out a tooth
Why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing?My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don’t see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!
Why do people dislike going to the dentist?
Why do people dislike going to the dentist?Because he is boring.
While I was waiting to see the dentist
While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, ”Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too.” When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident … Read more
A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which
A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth… and on the back: …and I will fill your cavity.
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost?Dentist: It’s $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
Why do dentists like potatoes?
Why do dentists like potatoes?Because they are so filling.
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?… A month later he was picking his teeth
What did the dentist say to the golfer?
What did the dentist say to the golfer?”You have a hole in one. ”
What to do you call an old dentist?
What to do you call an old dentist?A bit long in the tooth
‘Did you get your money?
‘Did you get your money?” ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient’s home. ”Not a cent,” growled the dentist, ”and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!”
As the judge said to the dentist
As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous
Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don’t worry, it’s my first extraction too.
Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless
Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn’t. Teacher: Did he hurt you?Nigel: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.
Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don’t you marry her?
Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don’t you marry her?Dentist: I can’t afford to. She’s my best patient.
Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?
Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?Because they fought both tooth and nail!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist ?Tooth Hurty !
Monster: Doctor, doctor, I’m a blood-sucking monster
Monster: Doctor, doctor, I’m a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I’m a dentist.
How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.
What’s worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD?
What’s worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD?Having your dentist tell you.
A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn’t nasty
A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn’t nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone’s mouth. The dentist answered ”I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”