President Obama escalated the war in Afghanistan, he sent the Navy in to shoot at pirates in the Indian Ocean, and now he’s attacking Libya. It’s like he took the Nobel Peace Prize as an insult. –Jimmy Kimmel
Question: Who won the zombie war? A. Nobody, it was dead even.
Question: What is the difference between a world war and a high school choral performance? Answer: The performance causes more suffering.
What’s a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?A bull pull!
– How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?– None. People that glow in the dark don’t need lights.
Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!
Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war?He lost it in a hair raid.
Once a madman said, ”Do you know there is a war going on between India and Bharat?Another madman said, ”Why should we worry, we live in Hindustan.”
The tourist: ”Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?”
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, ”Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off.” The English prisoner said, ”Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go … Read more
How does an octopus go to war ?Well-armed !
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said, ”How’d you learn to shoot like that ?Have you ever been in combat before?” ”Well suh,” drawled the boy, ”To be honest, this is my first public war.”
Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ?Robert E Flea !
In war, Chuck Norris doesn’t wear armor, the armor wears him for protection. And he always survives
Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.
At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, ”Will we have to fight a World War Three?” ”Yes, comrades, looks like … Read more
During the Mexican American War, an intense long standoff occurred along the front. For days and days neither side made any advances. Finally, an American general had a bright idea. He aimed his rifle to the Mexican trenches and yelled, ”Hey, Juan!” A soldier jumped up and replied, ”What?” The general shot him dead. This … Read more