Chuck Norris does not know about this website
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris and YouTube
The only person who can surf through all youtube viral video without getting Rick Roll’d is Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not dance
Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
Chuck Norris can sneeze
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Chuck Norris got into Harvard
Chuck Norris got into Harvard by throwing wolverines at the Admissions Office. He was also a wiz at the Common Application.
What Chuck Norris wear?
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy
Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in ”I hope I don’t get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day
Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
The reason for ocean acidification is found
The reason for ocean acidification is found. Chuck Norris was on a cruise and needed a wee.
Chuck Norris and the book
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee
Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck norris doesn
Chuck norris doesn
Chuck Norris does not need oxygen
Chuck Norris does not need oxygen to survive, oxygen needs chuck norris.
When the last tree is cut, when the last river is polluted
When the last tree is cut, when the last river is polluted, when the last fish is caught, they will realise that Chuck Norris can eat money.
Chuck Norris & Fight Club
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
What is a tornado?
A tornado is when Chuck Norris roundhouses someone to china and back.
What is the favorite color of Helen Keller
Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Raymond
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes
Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors?
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn’t like Fudge Ripple.
Where Chuck Norris was born?
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, ”You want fries with that” because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn’t ever want fries with anything. Ever.
When Chuck Norris says: More cowbell
When Chuck Norris says ”More cowbell”, he MEANS it.
Where is Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Chuck Norris can ride to work
Chuck Norris can ride to work on a stationary bike.
What was the original title for Star Wars?
The original title for Star Wars was ”Skywalker: Texas Ranger”. Starring Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT
The power of Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
Chuck Norris’s version of a chocolate milkshake
Chuck Norris’s version of a ”chocolate milkshake” is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said: I am become death
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said ”I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds”, He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris Halloween costume he was wearing.
When chuck norris breathes
When chuck norris breathes he supplies the world with oxygen.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris and the fish
No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
Chuck Norris’s bed is a tarp
Chuck Norris’s bed is a tarp spread between four peeled Redwoods. Contrary to what you might expect, he did not scare the bark off the trees, there just isn’t any more room to carve notches for all the women he’s had sex with.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
The greatest Poker-Face of all time
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris once played rugby
Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed
Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw.
When did Chuck Norris get his drivers license?
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins
Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair.