Folks, it’s one week before the election, and Chris Christie is praising a Democrat. What’s next, a Democrat praising Christie? It’s unnatural it’s like kissing your sister. Which, by the way, would be federal law if Obama is elected. –Stephen Colbert
Democrats are accusing Mitt Romney of cheating during the debate. I don’t know who he cheated off of, but I think we can rule out President Obama. –Jay Leno
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day on it. They still couldn’t get President Obama out of Bill Clinton’s shadow. –Jay Leno
The stoner comedy duo Harold and Kumar are starring in a new promo for the Democratic convention alongside President Obama, which is pretty impressive. The only other person to go from smoking pot with buddies to the White House is President Obama. –Jay Leno
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
Republicans say ”Merry Christmas!” Democrats say ”Happy Holidays!”
Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ”middle of the road Democrat”? A: Because he’s got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back.
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don’t admit it.
A small boy was asked by his teacher, ”What is the size of the Democratic Party?” ”About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. ”NO!” exploded the teacher.. ”I mean, how MANY members does it have?How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?” ”Well,” replied the boy, ”my father is 6 feet tall and every … Read more
Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. ”Well it’s not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of…(blah blah waffle)”
Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans do too, all year round.
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat … Read more
Q: How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb? A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas movie is ”Miracle on 34th Street.” Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is ”It’s a Wonderful Life.” Right-Wing Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is ”Die Hard.”
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Why are Vampires Democrats?They want Gore in 2000.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas carol is ”Deck the Halls.” Young Democrat’s favorite Christmas carol is ”Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Republican’s favorite Christmas carol is ”White Christmas.” Young Republicans’ favorite Christmas carol is ”White Christmas.”