A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
Question: A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? Answer: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Plane Jokes
What did John McCain say when his plane was shot down over enemy lines?
Question: What did John McCain say when his plane was shot down over enemy lines? A. Curse you, Red Baron!
Why didn’t JFK Jr. and his wife have a shower before getting on the plane?
Question: Why didn’t JFK Jr. and his wife have a shower before getting on the plane? Answer: They figured they would wash up on shore!
A blonde was going on a plane trip to NY
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,”I’m sorry. Your ticket isn’t for first class. Could you please move to your seat.” The blonde replied,”Im blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.” The attendant said,”That’s fine … Read more
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a storm
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. ”I’m too young to die!” she wails. Then she yells, ”Well, … Read more
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, ”Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth … Read more
McNally was taking his first plane ride
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. ”It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,” she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. ”Miss,” he said, ”I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get … Read more
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks ”And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is … Read more
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?
Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. … Read more
Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: – Are you crazy, Vasily?
Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: – Are you crazy, Vasily?You are going to jump without a parachute. – Is it mandatory to wear it?– Sure. It’s raining outside.
A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked
A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions. There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist. The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn’t be killed. The microbiologist (who studied … Read more
A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean
A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and a passenger. The passenger happens to be George W Bush. (Why?} Maybe, he was on his way to check on the coca plant life in South … Read more
A plane was taking off from Kennedy
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, ”Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, … Read more
A little guy gets on a plane
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to … Read more
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft’s sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting … Read more
How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane?
Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: ”You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy … Read more
When a plane caught fire over the jungle
When a plane caught fire over the jungle the pilot ejected and landed in a cannibal’s pot. The cannibal turned to his friend and said, ‘What’s this flier doing in my soup?’
When a blonde goes to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
When a blonde goes to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat ?Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row
What do you call a pig that took a plane?
What do you call a pig that took a plane?Swine flu!
There was an old woman on a plane
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’ To which the Pope replied, … Read more