Mah son’s real smart! crowed the redneck mother
‘Mah son’s real smart!” crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. ”He’s only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!” ”What’s his name?” asked the friend. ”Bob.”
Spelling Jokes
Teacher announced a practice spelling test
THE teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation. Mary went first. ”My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give everyone a cookie.” Next came Tommy. ”My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, … Read more
Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why?
Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why?Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.
How do you spell wrong?
How do you spell wrong?R?o?n?g. That’s wrong. That’s what you asked for, isn’t it?
Can you read the following?
Can you read the following?Yy u r yy u b I c u r yy 4 me. Too wise you are, too wise you be, I see you are too wise for me.
How do you spell ‘we’ with two letters without using the letters W and E?
How do you spell ”we” with two letters without using the letters W and E?U and I.
I gotta ‘A’ in spelling,’ Tony told his father
‘I gotta ‘A’ in spelling,” Tony told his father. ”You dope!” he replied. ”There isn’t any ‘A’ in ‘spelling’!”
How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?
How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?NME (enemy).
Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks?
Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks?Pupil: What does it spell then !
Spell ”pound” in two letters. Lb.
Spell ”pound” in two letters. Lb.
Spell extra wise in two letters. YY (2 y’s)
Spell extra wise in two letters. YY (2 y’s)
Can you spell very happy with three letters?
Can you spell very happy with three letters?XTC (ecstasy).
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away … Read more
How can you spell chilly with two letters?
How can you spell chilly with two letters?IC (icy) .
How can you spell too much with two letters?
How can you spell too much with two letters?XS (excess).
Little Johnny wasn’t very good at spelling
Little Johnny wasn’t very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word ”new” on the blackboard. ”Now,” she asked Johnny, ”what word would we have if we placed a ”K” in the front?” After a moment’s reflection, Johnny said, ”Canoe?”
Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi?
Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi?Redneck: Which one?The river or the state?
What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?
What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?Automobile.
Can you spell jealousy with two letters?
Can you spell jealousy with two letters?NV (envy).
‘Please, ma’am! How do you spell ichael?
‘Please, ma’am! How do you spell ichael?” The teacher was rather bewildered. ”Don’t you mean Michael?” she asked. ”No, ma’am. I’ve written the ‘M’ already.”
Luke had it first, Paul had it lost?
Luke had it first, Paul had it lost? boys never had it? girls have it but once? Miss Polly had it twice in the same place, but when she married Peter Jones she never had it again. What is it?The letter L.
What insect can be spelled with just one letter?
What insect can be spelled with just one letter?Bee.
First witch: Here’s a banana if you can spell it
First witch: Here’s a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don’t know when to stop.
A group of Texas A&M Aggies
A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using … Read more
A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on TV
A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: ”Old MacDonald had a …” The Indianan said, ”Old MacDonald had a carburetor.” ”Sorry,” said the MC. ”That’s incorrect.” ”Old MacDonald had a flat tire,” said the Kentuckian. ”Wrong,” said the host. … Read more
Can you spell a composition with two letters?
Can you spell a composition with two letters?SA (essay).
Spell electricity with three letters. NRG (energy).
Spell electricity with three letters. NRG (energy).
The young lad had applied for a job
The young lad had applied for a job, and was asked his full name. ”Aloysius Montmorency Geoghan,” he replied. ”How do you spell that?” asked the manager. ”Er ?sir ?er ?can’t you just put it down without spelling it?”
What question must always be answered, Yes?
What question must always be answered, ”Yes”?”What does Y-E-S spell?”
Spell Indian tent with two letters. TP.
Spell Indian tent with two letters. TP.
How do you spell elephant?
How do you spell elephant ?E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t ”That’s not how the dictionary spells it” ”You didn’t ask me how the dictionary spelt it !”
Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T
Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T
Early Texas governors were not very well educated
Early Texas governors were not very well educated. There was once a chief executive who thought ”grammar” was his father’s mother. On one occasion this governor went hunting and forgot his gun. He phoned his secretary and asked him to send the gun. ”The phone connection’s bad,” said the secretary. ”I couldn’t catch that last … Read more
Can you spell eighty in two letters?
Can you spell eighty in two letters?A-T.
Can you spell soft and slow with two letters?
Can you spell soft and slow with two letters?EZ.
Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters?
Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters?QT (cutey).
School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis?
School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis?Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.