What pet makes the loudest noise?
Question: What pet makes the loudest noise? Answer: A trum-pet!
Pet Jokes
Two newfies walked into a pet store
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says ”I want four budgies.” Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female?Newfie-I don’t care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like?We have yellow, blue, gr… Newfie – I don’t care what color … Read more
Why did a man’s pet vulture not make a sound for five years?
Why did a man’s pet vulture not make a sound for five years?It was stuffed.
Caspar: I was the teacher’s pet last year. Jaspar: Why was that?
Caspar: I was the teacher’s pet last year. Jaspar: Why was that?Caspar: She couldn’t afford a dog.
Calls to The Pet Help Line
Calls to The Pet Help Line (Actual Calls to a Pet Care Hotline) ”My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering…. how many calories are in a mouse?” ”I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?” ”Does your dog food help with emancipation?” … Read more
Calvin went to Pearson’s Pet Shop to complain
Calvin went to Pearson’s Pet Shop to complain that his canary wouldn’t sing. ”File the beak just a little,” said the owner, ”and the bird will sing. But if you file it too much, the canary will die.” Two weeks later Pearson ran into Calvin on the street and asked about his canary. ”He died,” … Read more
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?Rabbit up nicely, it’s a gift!
What is a hurricane’s favorite pet?
What is a hurricane’s favorite pet?-Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats
A man wanted an Easter pet for his daughter
A man wanted an Easter pet for his daughter. He looked at a baby chick and a baby duck. They were both very cute, but he decided to buy the baby chick. Do you know why?The baby chick was a little cheeper!
An accountant goes into a pet shop
An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, ”The parrot on the left costs $500.” ”Why does that parrot cost so much?” asks the accountant. ”Well,” replies the owner, ”it knows how to do complex audits.” ”How much does … Read more
The witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust
Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust?The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.
How did the dog’s owner know his pet
How did the dog’s owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?He foamed at the mouth.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, ”Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?” As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he’s on her level, and asks, ”Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy … Read more
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?A petticoat !
What’s a pet’s favorite day?
What’s a pet’s favorite day?…Saint Petrick’s Day
What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?
What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?Shorts!
Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ?It lives on ice !
A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot
A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet. ”What are they for?” he asked the pet shop manager. ”Ah well, sir,” came the reply, ”that’s … Read more
What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?
What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?Carpet !