What is grey and hairy and lives on a man’s face?
What is grey and hairy and lives on a man’s face?A mousetache.
Face Jokes
Boy monster: You’ve got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really?
Boy monster: You’ve got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really ?Boy monster: Yes – it’s green and wrinkly !
Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really?
Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really?Which one?Fred: A Saint Bernard.
First Witch: I like your toad
First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It’s because he’s a hoptimist.
My teacher’s got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.
My teacher’s got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.
Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle?Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.
Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had this morning
Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you’re so smart, what did I have?Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really?
Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really?Boy: Yes ?it’s green and wrinkly.
Teacher: What a glum face
Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ?Pupil: I’d be too polite to mention it !
Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
Why did the pig have ink all over his face?Because it came out of the pen.
Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces
Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there’s nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don’t like them being pulled.
A little boy came running into the kitchen
A little boy came running into the kitchen. ”Dad, dad,” he said, ”there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face.” ”Tell him you’ve already got one,” said his father.
What is the hottest part of a man’s face?
What is the hottest part of a man’s face?His sideburns.
Why is your face all scratched?
Why is your face all scratched ?My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really, she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces
Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don’t worry, I don’t expect anyone will notice.
A woman just back from Arizona
A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. ”When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,” she said. ”Why, was he disappointed with the view?” ”No, he fell over the edge.”
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?Because it is the scenter (centre).
Wife to Husband: I have a face of a teenager
Wife to Husband: I’ll have you know I’ve got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you’re wearing it out.
Fred: You’ve got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar?
Fred: You’ve got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar?Fred: No, it’s roamin’ all over your face.
I don’t know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.
I don’t know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.
Two boys were watching TV
Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. ”if I ever stop hating girls,” said one to the other, ”I think I’ll stop hating her first.”
Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so?
Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so?Fred: Yes. It’s so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she’s stopped laughing her face is still smiling!
You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it’s usually a complete blank.
You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it’s usually a complete blank.
Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly?
Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?
Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. ”What’s that for?
Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. ”What’s that for?” she asked. ”To make me beautiful,” came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. ”Doesn’t work, does it?” was her comment.
Q.What do me and a mirror have in common?
Q.What do me and a mirror have in common?A.When we see your face we both crack up!
Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick
Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.
How did your mom know you hadn’t washed your face?
How did your mom know you hadn’t washed your face?I forgot to wet the soap.
Once there was a church that had a bell
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. … Read more