What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Answer: Frostbite.
Vampire Jokes
What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
Question: What do you call a fat vampire slayer? A. Puffy!
What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
Question: What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank? A. A cab.
What do vampires never order at a cafe?
Question: What do vampires never order at a cafe? A. A STAKE sandwich!
What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?
Question: What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve? A. Auld Fang Syne!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
Question: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy? A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!
What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
Question: What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat? A. A flying Band-Aid.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A. Frostbite.
Where does a vampire keep his money?
Question: Where does a vampire keep his money? A. In a blood bank.
What song do vampires hate?
Question: What song do vampires hate? A. ”You are my sunshine!”
What’s a vampire’s favourite part of the guitar?
Question: What’s a vampire’s favourite part of the guitar? A. The neck.
When do vampires like horse racing?
Question: When do vampires like horse racing? A. When it’s neck and neck!
What kind of dog does a vampire have?
Question: What kind of dog does a vampire have? A. A bloodhound.
What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
Question: What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get? A. Fang mail.
Why did the vampire give up acting?
Question: Why did the vampire give up acting? A. Because he couldn’t find a part he could sink his teeth into.
What did the vampire say to his wife?
Question: What did the vampire say to his wife? A. ”Your neck looks slimmer.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite.
Why do people like vampires so much?
Question: Why do people like vampires so much? A. Because they are FANGtastic!
Doctor, doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire
Doctor, doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better?No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.
What does a vampire take for a cold?
What does a vampire take for a cold?Coffin syrup!
Why did Dracula miss lunch?
Why did Dracula miss lunch?Because he didn’t fancy the stake.
What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?
What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?A bat mat.
Which vampire tried to eat James Bond?
Which vampire tried to eat James Bond?Ghouldfinger.
What’s it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?
What’s it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?Necking.
Why are vampire families so close?
Why are vampire families so close?Because blood is thicker than water.
What’s a vampire’s favorite dance?
What’s a vampire’s favorite dance?The Fang Tango.
How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice?
How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice?They use extractor fangs.
How does a vampire get through life with only one fang?
How does a vampire get through life with only one fang?He has to grin and bare it.
What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby?
What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby?In-grave-ing.
Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?
Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?He was a ghoulsnif fer.
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
Why did the vampire go to hospital?He wanted his ghoulstones removed.
Which vampire ate the three bears’ porridge?
Which vampire ate the three bears’ porridge?Ghouldilocks.
What do vampires cross the sea in?
What do vampires cross the sea in?Blood vessels.
Why was the young vampire a failure?
Why was the young vampire a failure?Because he fainted at the sight of blood.
Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?
Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?The ghoulscorer.
What does Dracula say to his victims?
What does Dracula say to his victims?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?
What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?He cut all his fingers off !
What is Dracula’s favorite pudding?
What is Dracula’s favorite pudding?Leeches and scream.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?Batminton.
What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old?
What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old?A two-year-old vampire.
Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, ”Drac
Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, ”Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?” ”Yes,” replied Dracula, ”have lots of giraffes.”
What do vampire footballers have at half-time?
What do vampire footballers have at half-time?Blood oranges.
Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?
Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?He could really get into the vaultz.
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, ”I vould like some blood.” The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, ”I vould like some blood.” … Read more
What’s a vampire’s favorite drink?
What’s a vampire’s favorite drink?A Bloody Mary.
How does Dracula like to have his food served?
How does Dracula like to have his food served?In bite-sized pieces.
Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day?
Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day?To prevent bat breath.
Vampire: Let’s go and have a drink
One vampire to the other : ” Let’s go and have a drink.I know a cosy little mortuary just round the corner”!
What do you call a vampire junkie?
What do you call a vampire junkie?Count Drugula.
What did the vampire call his false teeth?
What did the vampire call his false teeth?A new fangled device.